Love and other drugs
POSTED ON Friday, July 26, 2013 AT 2:07 AM \\
Came across this quote that someone posted on FB recently...
'He's not perfect. You aren't either, and the two of you will never be perfect. But if he can make you laugh at least once, causes you to think twice, and if he admits to being human and making mistakes, hold onto him and give him the most you can. He isn't going quote poetry, he's not thinking about you every moment, but he will give you a part of him that he knows you could break. Don't hurt him, don't change him, and don't expect for more than he can give. Don't analyze. Smile when he makes you happy, yell when he makes you mad, and miss him when he's not there. Love hard when there is love to be had. Because perfect guys don't exist, but there's always one guy that is perfect for you.' - Bob Marley.
When I read the quote I was touched because it really spoke to me. I'm often guilty of having high expectations in a relationship despite the fact that I've already been with X for 5 years. It's like I know he's not a romantic, yet I still complain sometimes that he's doesn't do romantic things. I know he ain't good at expressing himself, yet I choose to get angry when he says the wrong things. Most people have a 'benchmark' when looking for a partner, and let's face it - there is no 100%. There's no perfection, just like the quote says. Most of us are lucky if we could find someone with 80% of the attributes we want and I think I hit the jackpot with X. He's probably close to 90% and yet I'm still constantly nitpicking on the 10% that is missing. I guess this is what you call 生在福中不知福.
I got upset with him today because I had his iPad with me and I saw that his browsing history had this link to a dubious massage call-girl service in China. (He was just in China few days ago.) And me being me, I chose to get all paranoid and upset because of my own insecurities. He explained that the link just popped up so he simply clicked on it out of curiosity and I didn't believe him. Honestly a small part of me wanted to - because we've been together for so long and I know he's not that kind of person. But how many times have you heard heartbroken women say things like 'I never thought he would do this me' or 'I thought I knew what kind of person he was'??? I don't want to be duped like a 3 year old kid. I argued with him over whatsapp (I'm overseas at the moment.), refused to take his phone calls, and basically accused him of lying and cheating.
I'm not really ashamed of my behavior because I believe most girls in my shoes would have reacted the same way. I don't really care if people want to say I'm being overly suspicious and paranoid etc. I do admit that I have a lot of insecurities about myself plus the fact that X and I do not spend too much time together just makes it harder for me to trust him.
My point is - this time it was a storm in a teacup. I let this incident slide because I believe him THIS time. I still love the boy dearly and accept that he isn't perfect. I recall what we've gone through these past 5 years together and how he fought to stay with me through thick and thin. He is indeed a man that makes me laugh and cry, but has also taught me lessons in life. But nonetheless, I will not let my guard down because this is my way of protecting myself. In the same way that he has given a part of him that I could break, I have also given him my entire heart that he could easily smash to smithereens as well. I don't take things like that lightly.
Sorry for this lengthy emo post - I'm not in SG at the moment and I'm not great at blogging on the iPad. Will try and come back with a more interesting update soon!
'He's not perfect. You aren't either, and the two of you will never be perfect. But if he can make you laugh at least once, causes you to think twice, and if he admits to being human and making mistakes, hold onto him and give him the most you can. He isn't going quote poetry, he's not thinking about you every moment, but he will give you a part of him that he knows you could break. Don't hurt him, don't change him, and don't expect for more than he can give. Don't analyze. Smile when he makes you happy, yell when he makes you mad, and miss him when he's not there. Love hard when there is love to be had. Because perfect guys don't exist, but there's always one guy that is perfect for you.' - Bob Marley.
When I read the quote I was touched because it really spoke to me. I'm often guilty of having high expectations in a relationship despite the fact that I've already been with X for 5 years. It's like I know he's not a romantic, yet I still complain sometimes that he's doesn't do romantic things. I know he ain't good at expressing himself, yet I choose to get angry when he says the wrong things. Most people have a 'benchmark' when looking for a partner, and let's face it - there is no 100%. There's no perfection, just like the quote says. Most of us are lucky if we could find someone with 80% of the attributes we want and I think I hit the jackpot with X. He's probably close to 90% and yet I'm still constantly nitpicking on the 10% that is missing. I guess this is what you call 生在福中不知福.
I got upset with him today because I had his iPad with me and I saw that his browsing history had this link to a dubious massage call-girl service in China. (He was just in China few days ago.) And me being me, I chose to get all paranoid and upset because of my own insecurities. He explained that the link just popped up so he simply clicked on it out of curiosity and I didn't believe him. Honestly a small part of me wanted to - because we've been together for so long and I know he's not that kind of person. But how many times have you heard heartbroken women say things like 'I never thought he would do this me' or 'I thought I knew what kind of person he was'??? I don't want to be duped like a 3 year old kid. I argued with him over whatsapp (I'm overseas at the moment.), refused to take his phone calls, and basically accused him of lying and cheating.
I'm not really ashamed of my behavior because I believe most girls in my shoes would have reacted the same way. I don't really care if people want to say I'm being overly suspicious and paranoid etc. I do admit that I have a lot of insecurities about myself plus the fact that X and I do not spend too much time together just makes it harder for me to trust him.
My point is - this time it was a storm in a teacup. I let this incident slide because I believe him THIS time. I still love the boy dearly and accept that he isn't perfect. I recall what we've gone through these past 5 years together and how he fought to stay with me through thick and thin. He is indeed a man that makes me laugh and cry, but has also taught me lessons in life. But nonetheless, I will not let my guard down because this is my way of protecting myself. In the same way that he has given a part of him that I could break, I have also given him my entire heart that he could easily smash to smithereens as well. I don't take things like that lightly.
Sorry for this lengthy emo post - I'm not in SG at the moment and I'm not great at blogging on the iPad. Will try and come back with a more interesting update soon!
