Came across this quote that someone posted on FB recently...

'He's not perfect. You aren't either, and the two of you will never be perfect. But if he can make you laugh at least once, causes you to think twice, and if he admits to being human and making mistakes, hold onto him and give him the most you can. He isn't going quote poetry, he's not thinking about you every moment, but he will give you a part of him that he knows you could break. Don't hurt him, don't change him, and don't expect for more than he can give. Don't analyze. Smile when he makes you happy, yell when he makes you mad, and miss him when he's not there. Love hard when there is love to be had. Because perfect guys don't exist, but there's always one guy that is perfect for you.' - Bob Marley.

When I read the quote I was touched because it really spoke to me. I'm often guilty of having high expectations in a relationship despite the fact that I've already been with X for 5 years. It's like I know he's not a romantic, yet I still complain sometimes that he's doesn't do romantic things. I know he ain't good at expressing himself, yet I choose to get angry when he says the wrong things. Most people have a 'benchmark' when looking for a partner, and let's face it - there is no 100%. There's no perfection, just like the quote says. Most of us are lucky if we could find someone with 80% of the attributes we want and I think I hit the jackpot with X. He's probably close to 90% and yet I'm still constantly nitpicking on the 10% that is missing. I guess this is what you call 生在福中不知福.

I got upset with him today because I had his iPad with me and I saw that his browsing history had this link to a dubious massage call-girl service in China. (He was just in China few days ago.) And me being me, I chose to get all paranoid and upset because of my own insecurities. He explained that the link just popped up so he simply clicked on it out of curiosity and I didn't believe him. Honestly a small part of me wanted to - because we've been together for so long and I know he's not that kind of person. But how many times have you heard heartbroken women say things like 'I never thought he would do this me' or 'I thought I knew what kind of person he was'??? I don't want to be duped like a 3 year old kid. I argued with him over whatsapp (I'm overseas at the moment.), refused to take his phone calls, and basically accused him of lying and cheating.

I'm not really ashamed of my behavior because I believe most girls in my shoes would have reacted the same way. I don't really care if people want to say I'm being overly suspicious and paranoid etc. I do admit that I have a lot of insecurities about myself plus the fact that X and I do not spend too much time together just makes it harder for me to trust him.

My point is - this time it was a storm in a teacup. I let this incident slide because I believe him THIS time. I still love the boy dearly and accept that he isn't perfect. I recall what we've gone through these past 5 years together and how he fought to stay with me through thick and thin. He is indeed a man that makes me laugh and cry, but has also taught me lessons in life. But nonetheless, I will not let my guard down because this is my way of protecting myself. In the same way that he has given a part of him that I could break, I have also given him my entire heart that he could easily smash to smithereens as well. I don't take things like that lightly.

Sorry for this lengthy emo post - I'm not in SG at the moment and I'm not great at blogging on the iPad. Will try and come back with a more interesting update soon!

TGIF everybody!!!

As you guys might not be aware, I've had my wisdom tooth removed last week so I was out on medical leave for a whole week. I might as well take this chance to fill you in on my staycation with X and some other random bits!

X and I were on leave together earlier this month and he gave me the go-ahead to book a different hotel this time because I wanted to try a different place. We've always frequented Gallery hotel for our staycations but this time I wanted to try Studio M (which is just next to Gallery) as I've heard about it's loft concept and it seems really cool!

So this is just one pic that I took, from the loft above.

The loft above has a sofa bed and a table for your computer etc. So when you look down from above you see our bed, as pictured here. I really love this loft concept with the high ceilings and full glass windows...makes the place seem really cozy and breezy and comfortable.

I also have to rave about their pool area! I didn't take any pictures, and the pool is nothing to shout about but the lounge deck was so beautifully decorated. It even has a few individual cabanas where you can totally just sit back and chill with a glass of wine! Perfect for people like me who actually prefers to stay in the shade. We totally didn't know the pool area was so awesome cuz X was not interested in checking out the pool til the second night. By then, it was kinda too late already.=/ I didn't bring my bikini anyway.

If  I had to nitpick, I would say the one thing I didn't like about the hotel was the bed. It was way too soft for my back and both X and I woke up with backaches.

After checking in, we went to Toby's Estate nearby for coffee and sandwiches!

My mocha. Coffee here is really good. If I remember correctly, I had the egg mayo+smoked salmon croissant which was not too bad but pretty overpriced. I'm also not the kind of person who likes brunch food because I don't consider it a proper satisfying meal.

Lighting next to the full glass window in our room was great for camwhoring!




I really enjoy staying around the Robertson Quay area as there are lots of restaurants and cafes around to explore. There's also my favorite Miharu ramen joint located conveniently within Gallery Hotel. IMO, they have the best ramen in Singapore!

I also met up with Liping this week despite my swollen face from the wisdom tooth surgery.


We went for foot reflexology at Natureland (also at Robertson Quay) and let me tell you, this is the most f**king painful massage I've ever done in my entire life. We took the 40 min foot + 20 min neck and shoulder massage and the 20 mins of neck/shoulder massage was so painful yet so SHIOK at the same time. I was yelping in pain during the process when he was pressing the accupoints but I came out feeling quite invigorated. No pain no gain they always say!

Went to Benjamin Brown's Bistro and Bakery at the Forum for any early dinner and this place was a surprise find as the food turned out to be really good.

My soup of the day, Pumpkin soup.

So rich and creamy and that thin slice of garlic bread was so good. It was really crisp and I finished it in like 5 seconds maybe? I usually don't finish any bread that comes with my soup so this really says something about the bread haha!

I devoured my main course the moment it came so sorry, no pictures! I had the crab meat linguine with vodka arrabiata sauce in case you're interested. This is one place I'm definitely going back to for its food.

After that we took a short walk to help digest our heavy dinner... lots of sales along Orchard Road. I totally forgot about GSS! Bought a white skater dress and a light wash denim shirt from H&M, the shirt was only $39.90? I remember paying about $75 for my American Eagle denim shirt so this is definitely damn cheap in comparison. I'll try to do more ootd photos in future but X is just terrible at taking them LOL.

And introducing another coffee joint that serves awesome coffee! None other than Chye Seng Huat Hardware. In case you're not familiar and wondering why I'm talking about a ching-chong place that sells hardware...this really is a bona-fide cafe. I guess the name just lends an old-school vibe to it.




The menu is quite limited in terms of food so I settled for the french toast with bananas eventually. I was kinda grumpy when I reached the place initally, and when I looked at the menu I was even more annoyed because remember I've mentioned that I'm not a brunch food sorta person??? But their french toast was very tasty lah, I was quite happy after eating it! =)

That sums up life for the past 2 weeks for me, it's been so blissful not having to work and just doing
whatever I want and getting enough sleep. Unfortunately it's back to reality tomorrow and I've already told myself to stay strong. I remind myself of the future I'm working towards, and knowing X is always there for me will give me the strength I need to carry on. No matter how weary I am.

Gambatte!

What I'm about to share is something rather personal.

I've had some kind of minor emotional setback recently. I've been starting to question what I'm doing and my sense of fulfillment has been more than lacking as well. All these doubts started at the back of my head, and they just kinda stayed there until my mood swings hit and I would start complaining every once too often. A recent disappointment simply opened up a can of worms.

I apologize for being so vague, because there are certain things which I can't say on this blog. I'm not allowed to.

Anyway I've been quite a pain to be around because of this and it was only until a recent dinner with my extended family that made me realize that I'm in fact, way luckier than I thought I was.

My paternal aunt was born a deaf-mute and because of circumstances back then, she wasn't given a chance at education. Due to her lack of any qualifications and also her disability, she could only do menial/labour jobs.

After dinner, I did a lot of thinking. My constant complaints about how tired I feel and how I hate my life suddenly seemed really childish and insignificant. Our parents' generation suffered and slogged so much more than I did. Take my aunt for example - she probably had to deal with all sorts of discrimination and hardship in her lifetime and yet here I am, kicking a fuss about my backaches and not getting enough sleep blah blah blah.

My dad too, has worked hard to give my siblings and I the lives that we have now. My family was pretty broke when I was a kid, we couldn't even afford diapers and my sister and I had to sleep in the living room. Then slowly, bit by bit, through my parents' hard work, things got better and better. We shifted to a bigger house, and could afford treats like Mcdonalds. My dad is still working til now and hasn't retired yet.

On the other hand, I've only been working for the past 3 years in my first full-time job and I'm already acting like I deserve some sort of long service award. Compared to my parents and my aunt who have slogged an entire lifetime, I don't think I'm in a position to complain about anything.

I know you have to work for the things you want, and that nothing in life is free. Nobody ever said that life is fair or easy, and that we need to be content with what we have. Sometimes no matter how many times I tell myself that, it's still hard to chase those blues away. It's not something that an inspirational quote can solve.

Today I have my aunt to thank for reminding me that I am indeed a very lucky girl. I have a family that is strong though sometimes dysfunctional, I have the most loving husband in the world who takes my sh*t and still sticks around and friends who would look out for me. I'll also have a place of my own next year! That's something that I really wanted and something X and I worked really hard for. We should be proud and I am truly blessed.=)