Another random wordy update.
POSTED ON Friday, March 15, 2013 AT 2:04 AM \\
Hi! Feeling kinda bored so I've decided to come fill this space with some nonsense/random updates.
Day 3 in Moscow now and my stomach is feeling much much better. Had a kaya bun and milo on my first day here, then I had 2 kaya buns and a milo the next day and today I actually ate some room service. Happy to say that I kept all my food down, though it was with much difficulty cuz my body kept fighting it. I would take a few nibbles then stop, because my body was threatening to regurgitate the food I've eaten.
However I'm all better now, so much so that I thought I could indulge in a chocolate milkshake. I was wrong. To be honest I wanted to have a milkshake because I was feeling REALLY DOWN IN THE DUMPS. I know right, like again?! 'Amanda when will you start growing up and learn to let go?' Sorry it just doesn't work that way for me. X has been very patient with me but even I can tell that his patience is being severely tested. He told me 'ok you've been maligned. It's unfair. GET OVER IT.' I was bawling my eyes out as I read his message. Don't get me wrong, it's not him being harsh or un-empathetic because he was merely pointing out the truth. That I had to learn to deal with it and not let such petty people/ insignificant things get to me and spoil my otherwise not-too-bad life. Plus it's been like almost a week now and I know I must sound like a broken record constantly harping on the same subject over and over again.
I felt horrible at that moment because I was hundreds of miles away from Singapore and I wanted nothing more than to curl myself up in X's arms and just cry myself to sleep. The comfort and warmth I was desperate for is literally unattainable and I couldn't even FaceTime with my husband because he had unwired his router due to a problem with his home PC. #FML. X is seriously concerned about my emotional state of mind now and he's aware of how affected I am over this matter. It's like a dark cloud following me everywhere and I can't shake it off. I'm letting it take over my life in a very unhealthy manner by constantly dwelling on it. I could be okay for a few hours and then suddenly the angst just takes over without warning. He even advised me to seek some counseling because I can't seem to let go. Suddenly I'm the one with a problem when it's some stupid f**king bitch who started it by writing in a false complaint about me? I know X means well, but I don't need counseling. What I need, is revenge. And don't tell me success is the best revenge, because that's not true. REVENGE IS THE BEST REVENGE.
Anyway I did some research on this and it's disheartening to know that Singapore has no legislation on workplace bullying. So meaning what? Your boss can just accuse you of some wrongdoing, wreak havoc on your life and just get away with it? I know WTF right. Dead end. I can't sue that bitch.
Let's move on from the negatively depressing to something more positive instead. Many friends, people whom I didn't even think cared, actually bothered to contact me and give me words of encouragement. It made me really touched. I'm not a warm, friendly sociable type of person by nature and I'm happy that people cared enough to show their support for me. Eternal gratitude guys, really. I'm also thankful for my great husband, because despite all the shit I'd put him through, all the lack of appreciation for everything he's done for me, he's still sticking around. I know this bitch must be so bitter because her husband probably doesn even give a shit about her, that's probably why she tries to make other people's lives miserable. I will not let you have the pleasure of succeeding muahaha!
To X - 'It seems like I'm pushing you away everytime some shit happens. But I'm not. I need you more than anything but I guess a lot of my anger got in the way. I'm sorry, I know I've made a mess of things and got you really worried about me. I've always been the immature and impulsive one, and you, you hold me down like an anchor holding down a ship. I don't even know what I'll do without you. Once again, I'm sorry and I love you.'
Day 3 in Moscow now and my stomach is feeling much much better. Had a kaya bun and milo on my first day here, then I had 2 kaya buns and a milo the next day and today I actually ate some room service. Happy to say that I kept all my food down, though it was with much difficulty cuz my body kept fighting it. I would take a few nibbles then stop, because my body was threatening to regurgitate the food I've eaten.
However I'm all better now, so much so that I thought I could indulge in a chocolate milkshake. I was wrong. To be honest I wanted to have a milkshake because I was feeling REALLY DOWN IN THE DUMPS. I know right, like again?! 'Amanda when will you start growing up and learn to let go?' Sorry it just doesn't work that way for me. X has been very patient with me but even I can tell that his patience is being severely tested. He told me 'ok you've been maligned. It's unfair. GET OVER IT.' I was bawling my eyes out as I read his message. Don't get me wrong, it's not him being harsh or un-empathetic because he was merely pointing out the truth. That I had to learn to deal with it and not let such petty people/ insignificant things get to me and spoil my otherwise not-too-bad life. Plus it's been like almost a week now and I know I must sound like a broken record constantly harping on the same subject over and over again.
I felt horrible at that moment because I was hundreds of miles away from Singapore and I wanted nothing more than to curl myself up in X's arms and just cry myself to sleep. The comfort and warmth I was desperate for is literally unattainable and I couldn't even FaceTime with my husband because he had unwired his router due to a problem with his home PC. #FML. X is seriously concerned about my emotional state of mind now and he's aware of how affected I am over this matter. It's like a dark cloud following me everywhere and I can't shake it off. I'm letting it take over my life in a very unhealthy manner by constantly dwelling on it. I could be okay for a few hours and then suddenly the angst just takes over without warning. He even advised me to seek some counseling because I can't seem to let go. Suddenly I'm the one with a problem when it's some stupid f**king bitch who started it by writing in a false complaint about me? I know X means well, but I don't need counseling. What I need, is revenge. And don't tell me success is the best revenge, because that's not true. REVENGE IS THE BEST REVENGE.
Anyway I did some research on this and it's disheartening to know that Singapore has no legislation on workplace bullying. So meaning what? Your boss can just accuse you of some wrongdoing, wreak havoc on your life and just get away with it? I know WTF right. Dead end. I can't sue that bitch.
Let's move on from the negatively depressing to something more positive instead. Many friends, people whom I didn't even think cared, actually bothered to contact me and give me words of encouragement. It made me really touched. I'm not a warm, friendly sociable type of person by nature and I'm happy that people cared enough to show their support for me. Eternal gratitude guys, really. I'm also thankful for my great husband, because despite all the shit I'd put him through, all the lack of appreciation for everything he's done for me, he's still sticking around. I know this bitch must be so bitter because her husband probably doesn even give a shit about her, that's probably why she tries to make other people's lives miserable. I will not let you have the pleasure of succeeding muahaha!
To X - 'It seems like I'm pushing you away everytime some shit happens. But I'm not. I need you more than anything but I guess a lot of my anger got in the way. I'm sorry, I know I've made a mess of things and got you really worried about me. I've always been the immature and impulsive one, and you, you hold me down like an anchor holding down a ship. I don't even know what I'll do without you. Once again, I'm sorry and I love you.'
