I blame the fairy tales we've been fed since young for making us females believe in love. I blame the Hollywood sterotype rom-coms for making us think that there could be The One. I could blame alot of things, but most of all I blame myself because I still gave my heart away even though its already been broken too many times.

Each time my heart got smashed to pieces, I would cry my eyes out night after night. I would not eat because my body did not seem to register hunger anymore. Basically I would cry myself to sleep, then wake up and cry again. My mind searched for ways to relieve itself of the emotional pain, but the relief was always temporary and only time managed to dull the pain. The wounds heal, but the scars remain.

I would always end up telling myself that I didn't want or need another relationship anymore because they only get complicated and I didn't want the grief. I thought I would never let anyone else in anymore yet I find myself in another relationship once again hoping that 'hey, maybe this one will be different. Maybe it'll be better.'

Maybe I'm the one who screwed up. I really don't know. Maybe I'm just difficult to be with because of all my insecurities and fear of getting cheated and hurt. Maybe its too hard to understand that all I want is to feel that I'm as good as you thought I was when you didn't have me yet. But the truth as we all know, is that everybody is flawed, especially me. It's just that you didn't see the imperfections when I was out of your reach. I know you've given me many changes to redeem myself and I'm sorry that I disappointed you, that just my love isn't good enough anymore. I no longer felt needed or wanted by you long ago, and that's really what hurts me the most.