Disillusioned...
POSTED ON Monday, July 26, 2010 AT 11:09 PM \\
I consider myself a rather private person because even though I do blog, I usually refrain from writing about anything too personal or even if I do, I keep things ambiguous.

But there are certain things which I'll like to admit because right now, I'm simply too tired, too disillusioned to care.

Ever felt that no matter how much effort you put in, nobody seems to see it because as long as you make a mistake, no matter how small, you get faulted?

I get a sense of condemnation when that happens, and once or twice I can accept it, but when it happens ALL the time, I just can't turn the other cheek anymore. Tell me why, why should I continue trying when the person whom I care about the most doesn't care, doesn't see me anymore? All that person sees is a broken image of me, one that can never be mended again cuz the cracks will forever show.

Silly me. Day in day out, I keep trying to seal those cracks with my love and tears, hoping that somehow I could mask those cracks and become a little more perfect in his eyes again, stubbornly refusing that my efforts are in vain. But maybe it's time for a reality check.

Maybe everything is just but my wishful thinking.