The most important organ in the human body is the heart. The heart pumps blood to the rest of the body such as the brain. Therefore the heart is more important than the brain cuz without the heart, one cannot function properly & this is how i feel right now.

My mom was kind enough to take me out yesterday to distract me from my unhappiness. She forced me to eat something cuz i hadn't eaten anything since Tuesday afternoon so I had some soup at Soup spoon. My brain doesn't seem to register hunger anymore. We went shopping & when i got home i just threw down my bags and jumped into bed, covering myself with the blankets and then the tears that i've been holding back the whole day just streamed down my face again.

I took the medication which was prescribed to help me relax and sleep. I dunno if it was the medication or pure exhaustion, i drifted off to sleep on the sofa at abt 11pm til 7am. I didn't even bathe or eat. I dun remember if i was ever like that - cuz i recall i still had my appetite even when i was hospitalised 2 years ago. Now i dun even know what planet i'm on.

Some people might assume he's a jerk or bas***d, but he's NOT. I'm not in denial by defending him like that cuz i've been with a total a**hole before so i recognize the difference. Mr. X stuck with me through alot of hard times even when i frequently vent my anger on him for no rhyme or reason. I simply took for granted that his love & patience were infinite. It was ME who pushed him to his limit. ME ME ME. I was so blardy self-centred and i really regret my attitude now.

Maybe someone like me just ain't cut out to be in a relationship. Somehow i take things way too seriously cuz once i'm in one, i dun want the r/s to fail. To me, it's not a failed exam which u can simply retake. I'm so scared of failure that i become 钻牛角尖。Yet its definitely not an excuse for my attitude.

My heart was broken before & it took me damn long to pick up every piece & put them back together. Now i'm left to pick up the pieces once again & to be honest i dunno if i can mend my heart this time. They say what's broken can't be fixed right?